Setting the Bird Free! How To Accept Newness and Tear Rigidity off the Map

#Acceptance is very fluid and cunning state of being. Sometimes it’s easy to face changes but in my case it’s always been a struggle. My body is transforming and purple spider veins add character and a splash of color. Other times I look in the mirror and just see plain and middle aged. A midlife crisis has brought many unforeseen shifts, which have been physically trying and sometimes emotionally stomach wrenching! I guess I’m pretty rigid, yip cemented in my ways by #fear. A tweek in my perception, or God forbid, a lifestyle shift can cause a major seismic eruption in my #psyche.

I avoid #Fear normally or don’t handle it delicately. I’ll dodge chatting to a person because they make me feel dumb or embarrassed. I’ll delay getting my wisdom tooth pulled because the last time the pain left me curled up on the floor holding a cushion to my face while I cried my eyes out! I need a cap fitted on the tooth that sat next to my infected wisdom tooth, I’ve postponed the appointment three times, I’m not kidding. Go figure, I’m not proud of my normal method of coping – #DENIAL.

My reactions to change have intensified. Lately I’ve spent time staring at the clock face wanting the breathlessness to disappear and the questions to be answered by hubby, or anyone. Sleeplessness has plagued me. Waves of anxiety in Bloomingdales, of all places, have baffled me. Obsessive thoughts strangle me. I duel with monsters in my head.

I flunk the feeling-good-enough test – of course I lack something. Where’s my proper job that pays anything, boobs that don’t sag or a viewpoint that is dynamic and vibrant every second of the day? Well I’ve been talking to wise friends and experts about #self-love and we decided that #Unconditional self-love is difficult to feel when someone gets chewed up with anxiety or lost in being #judgmental or can’t trust their loved ones. They’ve convinced themselves they’re unsafe despite years of loyalty and love they’ve received.



Basically negative thoughts have built up obstructions in my psyche and I’ve forgotten how to trust my instincts about decisions or feelings. But as Maya Angelou says, “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” And right now I’m having a hard time with the liking part.

So my new #Self-Loving Goals are:

  • Be kinder, calmer and clear my mind with a positive focus on being flexible.
  • Make tiny shifts in attitude to appreciate and accept my life more. This will transform my world (and yours.)
  • Stop focusing on the confusing and frustrating parts of my life, be grateful for all my amazing blessings – too many to list.
  • #Trust that I can move closer to obstacles and not panic. I can rise to a higher level of loving understanding and confidence -my #intention is to find the barriers and move beyond them.
  • Enjoy sitting in the dentist chair getting my brain rattled with the drill and accept the broken parts of me being strengthened.
  • Value the crap out of my new and improved dental addition.
  • Do Keigels daily to strengthen my pelvic floor so that I can fly squealing over a run at Catamount mountain called Sunrise and not wet myself.
  • Write like a virgin writer
  • Lavish myself with 70% dark chocolate, to balance the mind chakra, I got this.
  • Challenge myself in yoga three times a week.
  • Embrace that my relationship with family and friends is constantly evolving.
  • Appreciate the hard work that my hubby does and accept that we are wired differently and activities that are easier for him aren’t for me and that’s okay.
  • Widen my field of vision
  • Banish self-comparison (why am I not as good etc.?)
  • Employ a new attitude of positive intentions and infinite possibilities.
  • Love who I am instead of questioning and resisting change because of irrational fears that I create.
  • Remember to hug the three-year-old child who is trembling inside me and tell her I’ve got it and she’s safe now.
  • Believe that everything I need is already inside me.

I’M NOT BEING SELFISH OR WEAK – I have to combat fierce insecurities, and stop grabbing too tightly to people I care about. Don’t squeeze the bird until it dies, let it sing and fly where it needs to, so it can return with a flower and song in its beak.

Let go of being a #Control freak. It’s an illusion to think we have power. #Mistrust and fear makes me smother people when I should let them be! I can’t force my will to make things stay the way I think they should. Do I come from a place of scarcity or bounty? Let the fuck go and see what happens. {Oops did I just say that?} When I set loved ones free they soar and come back with wonderful tales of adventure on the high seas! Yes I’ve repeated a positive allusion here for a reason. I’m finding the letting go tricky. But I’ll be improving my loved ones lives and bringing more happiness into the world in general, so it’s a win win situation. Why can’t I see that?

Yes I’m far from perfect, as a chronic farter, and nose picker. Venting is my passion followed by being a victim during arguments and focusing on negative experiences. In menopause, my concentration is iffy. I procrastinate over decisions. I say things that are damaging and offer a tirade of criticism to cause angst.

It’s so hard – I keep failing and that’s okay. I pick my head up and try again. Next time with a wider smile.


“You don’t need another person, place or thing to make you whole. God {or the universe [my input]} already did that. Your job is to know it.” Maya Angelou

Easier said than done, but I feel lighter and happier and more powerful when I have #faith –and relax into a pose. Let’s look in the mirror, give ourselves a wink and a smile!

“As we encounter new experiences with a mindful and wise attention, we discover that one of three things will happen to our new experience: it will go away, it will stay the same, or it will get more intense. Whatever happens does not really matter.” Jack Cornfield 

But what does matter is that we frame our lives in a positive way and we walk through every doorway with the intention of upping our game, our energy and joy, because just having that intention makes miracles happen.

Listen up Peeps – You are Amazing and totally Enough! Cement that into your Gorgeous Skulls! Be gone over-thinking, Let’s Breathe deeply and Let go of the Bird!

I’m yelling this at myself cos I’m not getting any of my list items off and running, except the chocolate :).  I keep holding too tightly. I’ll be happier if I relax and focus on improving my life. I won’t give up. I’ll do the work and get my life in order. I believe and can let be!

6 thoughts on “Setting the Bird Free! How To Accept Newness and Tear Rigidity off the Map

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